Grossed Out! The Unlikely Death of Networking
Ask anyone in business where they get their best customers and somewhere in the first few sentences you’ll hear “word of mouth”. Ask anyone, anywhere how they found their favorite restaurant and it will likely be by referral. Even our best friends are often the result of meeting through others.
What you’ve just witnessed is the power of networking in tbe lives of people. And yet, everywhere you turn, networking is under siege. Local Chambers of Commerce are eliminating networking at an alarming rate. Some network marketing companies are giving networking a blemish, and major publications and business experts decry networking as an evil means to an end. It isn’t hard to find someone cheerfully announcing the death of networking.
And it comes as no surprise. For many, networking isn’t something that comes naturally. It’s awkward walking into a room full of people and finding your place. In the grocery line we do our best to keep our eyes on our carts to avoid a chance meeting with someone we don’t know. Networking is, as one person recently told me, “As foreign to me as brain surgery”.
In a recent article on FastCompany.com, Samantha Cole leads with “Why Networking Makes You Feel Physically Gross”. It seems that all that discomfort you’ve been feeling when networking is manifesting itself physically in a not-so-good way. Perhaps you’ve felt it.
The article sites a University of Toronto study that finds we feel “icky” after networking. It goes on to surmise that networking forms relationships based on our, “…dirtiest motivations: Money and power.” More on that in a moment, but first, let’s dig a bit deeper into the study.
While the article doesn’t tell us specifically who participated in the study, it does conclude that people playing fill in the gaps word games are more likely to come up with words like “wash”, “soap”, and “shower” after what they refer to as “selfish networking moments.” You can read the complete article here: http://bit.ly/1q6MM3F
Further, they asked a whopping 165 lawyers about their networking habits and found that those who were most powerful were “less grossed out” by networking than those who were less powerful. Notice the inference is that they were all grossed out, just those with power were “less grossed out”.
But perhaps the most telling line in the article is found in the final paragraph. It suggests you’ll feel “less slimy” if you “change your perspective—and your approach—to finding connections that genuinely do interest you beyond professional gain.”
This is where so many get genuine networking wrong. They just can’t help but come back to it being all about themselves. Notice the article suggests you find people interested in you, not you finding people you are interested in. Is this any less sincere? Isn’t this just as “dirty” a motive?
You can’t feel “less slimy” when you are focusing on yourself. Genuine networking is interested in self, but consumed with others. When you know how to be genuine in your networking endeavors, you approach each meeting , whether in a room full of people or in the grocery check-out with a genuine interest in others and a servant heart. You know that you will get what you need by helping others get what they want.
And here’s a news alert for you: Money and power aren’t intrinsically “dirty”. While there are those who obtain money and power illegitimately, more often money is a measure of service you’ve provided. Those with power in a community earn it through service. It never fails, serve others and they’ll reward you. If you’ll only focus on serving others they will cheerfully give you everything you need.
Which brings us back to the beginning. Where do you go to find what you need? Serve others and the answers will appear. And since most people are interested in themselves and their needs, there is a big opportunity out there for those who have a servant heart. Networking to find what people need and how you can help them get it is the best way to find your place of service.
So while figures and studies continue to confirm networking’s death, there will still be those who know the truth: Networking, genuine networking, is alive and well and will be for as long as humans communicate.
Consistent Action in a Purposeful Manner is the Key to Networking Success
While most people don't want to hear it, the key to success in networking is consistency. Nothing will replace consistent action in a purposeful manner. You must plan your networking success and work your plan consistently, making adjustments as you go to ensure you are getting the most for your efforts.
Most of us have heard of someone who came to his or her first networking event and met a great prospect that became a client. Many have even heard of someone who has done business at a networking event. Perhaps you have had the good fortune of meeting someone who was in need of your product or service and you closed the business at the event. It does happen.
But patience and perseverance are required in networking as in most every other endeavor in life. Consistency is the key to success. Joining a health club doesn't make you healthy. Once you join you have a greater likelihood of going, and once you go you have a greater likelihood of using the equipment. Using the equipment doesn't ensure health either. It is the purposeful use of the equipment in the proper fashion and proportion consistently that ensures improved health.
Networking is very similar. Joining a group increases the likelihood that you will attend a meeting or event. Attending increases the likelihood that you will actually engage in a conversation with another attendee. Engaging in conversation increases the chances that you will meet someone who could use your product or service. But the purposeful planning of which meetings and events to attend and whom you wish to meet, coupled with the successful execution of that plan, will ensure that you are successful in networking and in your business endeavor.
The old saying, "who you are speaks so loudly I can't hear what you are saying" applies in networking. While your appearance plays an important role, how often you appear at events is critical. People will begin to know, like, and trust you when they see you more often. This increases the odds that they will remember you when they meet someone who needs what you sell.
Therefore, you should plan out your networking for the next six weeks and stick to it. Measure your success at each event and determine if the right connections are attending the same events you are. Be honest with yourself. How well did you connect? How much did you give each event? What impacted your results?
Be sure to visit each event or group more than once before you decide to fully engage or eliminate it from your plan. Then be decisive. Choosing a few events or groups to fully engage in each month will bring far better results than taking a shotgun approach. You'll begin to see the same people and they will see you as reliable. Then they will open up their contact list to you. This is when networking becomes powerful. Remember, meeting people and doing business with them individually is great, but the real power comes when you gain access to their contacts and referrals.
Networking success requires a plan and that plan requires consistently attending events and meetings and measuring your success. When you fully engage and consistently attend you will find better relationships, better use of your time, more referrals, and greater success. Be consistent.