Why Networking is a Waste of Time

If you think you’ll build your business this year by doing more networking, think again. Nearly all time networking is time wasted.

handshakeYou might not think the author of three books on networking would say networking is a waste of time, but after twenty years of studying networking, after attending and facilitating over 3000 networking events, and after hearing over 10,000 networking self introductions in just one year alone, I’m comfortable telling you most networking is a waste of time.

Why is networking a waste of time?  Networking is just a vehicle.  Like the automobile in your driveway, the vehicle itself wastes most of its time sitting.  It may look good, it might even bring some admirers, but until you get behind the wheel and drive the car, it goes no place.

And neither will you if all you do is network.  Networking provides the vehicle to connect one with people and resources needed to solve problems.  Truly effective networking is the vehicle you should use to solve the problems your friends and acquaintances have.  This is when networking is useful.

Too many people go to networking events to sell their stuff.  They foolishly look at the room and think of all the people in the room they might sell.  That’s not networking, that’s one-to-one selling.  It’s like your car in the driveway.  It may look good, but only you can use it.  You might sell it once to someone else, but that’s the extent of its value.  Only the best equipped sales person is successful in this type of “networking”.

Some “networkers” walk in the room and think, “This will be a great resource for referrals.”  As they meet people they explain what they do and cleverly ask, “Who do you know that I should meet?”  They get leads and perhaps even a sale, but once again the focus is on them.  It’s just like a car you wish to sell, you can ask everyone if they know someone who wants to buy it, but the likelihood of finding a match is slim.  You’ll get a lead only when your product or service is an exact match for someone.

But true networkers approach things differently.  They understand that the real value of networking is in building relationships.  They approach the room differently.  “I wonder whom I’ll meet that needs to know someone I know” is their frame of reference.  They give and give and give.  Like the car, instead of letting people look at it or even selling it to them, they give everyone a ride where they wish to go, free of charge.

Some people will take the ride and barely say thank you.  Like the people who look at your car, these are the takers.  You don’t want to be one of them.

Some people will take the ride and offer to buy your car.  These are the buyers.  You’ll get them either way since your product or service solves their needs.  You don’t want to target them since they’ll come either way.

Some still will offer to drive next time.  These are the givers.  And only a giver can attract a giver.  These are the people you should be seeking in the networking environment.

Givers will immediately identify you as a giver and they’ll give to you as well.  They’ll become friends.  And friends buy from and refer friends to friends.  And so do their friends.  This is what is called networking.

As you begin to refocus your efforts decide now to be a giver and a friend.  Approach networking with the intention to give and you’ll attract others who give.  And everyone will win.


Observe the Multiple Networking Group Law: No Double-Dipping

As you begin to find success in networking you will undoubtedly expand your network to include more than one group.  Becoming active in several networking groups focused on varying interest, geography, or industry is a wise move that will broaden your exposure and increase your effectiveness.  We encourage and highly recommend that you are involved in more than one group, chamber of commerce, or both.

 

With expanded exposure comes the opportunity to share your network with a wider variety of people. You will provide more solutions to more people and they will provide you with more connections.  Your network will grow.  This benefits you, your network, and your new networking partners. 

 

However there is one rule that you must never violate if you are to succeed in multiple groups. Never under any circumstances give two people in the same business the same referral. If your friend Sam is buying a new house, you cannot refer Sam to two mortgage brokers in different groups.  That is just like double-dipping chips at a party; you just shouldn't do it.  It is not cool and everyone gets hurt when you share the same referral with two people in the same industry.

 

Your friend Sam gets a mixed message and begins to feel like he is just a number to you.  He is likely to think you are not trying to help him as much as you are trying to help yourself.  The two mortgage brokers end up embarrassed and looking like little more than glad-handing salespeople.  And you end up with a loss of credibility that will lead to fewer referrals and potential expulsion from both groups.

 

But do not be confused. It is appropriate and desirable to share the same referral with solution providers in similar but different industries.  You most definitely should share Sam's name with one mortgage broker, one realtor, one insurance agent, and one moving company provided you know that Sam has an interest or need for these services.  Your knowledge of Sam's needs is a direct result of your relationship with Sam.

 

Your relationship with Sam may not be close enough for you to know all his needs and interests. You may have recently met Sam and you only know he is in the market for a new home.  It stands to reason he may have a need a mortgage broker, insurance agent, realtor, and mover.  But you are not close enough to Sam to know for certain.  You should still share Sam's name with one provider for each service from your network.  In doing so be clear with each person that Sam is a lead, not a referral.  In either case, sending resources to Sam that can solve his problems helps him, the referral partners, and you.

 

Understanding how and when to share referrals is essential to your success in networking and in life. Observing the law of  "no double-dipping" will ensure you have greater success.